Confessions

ugh, i hate to write this but I know that writing it will help me move past it and not dwell. So, I have a cheat meal 1 time a week. I use a lot of my weeklies and then don't allow for any weeklies the rest of the week. I just stick to my daily points and get activity but don't eat those points. This works for me because I LOVE to go out and although I'm very mindful of what I eat, i get the chance to splurge.

Well this weekend we met up with some friends after a very sensible sushi dinner and I turned in to party girl. I was drinking low point alcoholic drinks but I definitely had TOO many of them. So many that if I wanted to attempt to count them, i would definitely lose count. So i'm pretty positive I used ALL of my weeklies and then some! That's it, it doesn't sound so bad when I type it out, I just felt really guilty on Sunday. I followed the plan Sunday and will continue you to this week as well. Maybe my gagillion gallons of water a day can flush out those toxins before weigh in on Saturday. And if not, at least I can pinpoint the day I screwed it up!

Weigh in Day

Wohoo! I was down 1.4 today for a total of 16.6 pounds lost so far. I was expecting a slight gain because of the new work out I've been doing that includes more muscle building. Push ups and weight lifting mixed with cardio. At this rate, I will hit my goal of wanting to lose 20 pounds by the end of April. Now I hope to exceed that!!

So far this week

So far this week I've stayed on point and exercised 3 times. Tonight will be my 4th and then I will let my muscles heal. I stepped on the scale this morning and it showed a gain. I sort of expected it because the 30 day shred is working my muscles out big time, but I'll be honest, i don't want to show a gain on Saturday at WI.

I know it's stupid, it WILL happen at some point. I think my biggest insecurity is that I have people that ask me how much I lost that weekend EVERY week and it would be embarassing to say I've gained. Only because they wouldn't understand why, they would just think, "oh" like I didn't do something correctly. I know all that matters is that I'm aware of what I'm doing and it's incredibly petty to even freakin care about what people will "think", but I do. So there, I said it, i'm insecure and care about what people think. I've really gotta get over that.

I'm feeling good this week. It's been rainy here the last couple of days and that makes me sleepy since I stare out a window all day but I haven't let that affect me.

By the way, this is totally off subject but I love my cat Alexa- we call her Lexi! She's just so cute! Here's a picture of her when she was a kitten!!!! She is a bundle of joy!

30 day shred

So I bought this video after stalking the WW boards about the reviews. The stuff that I read said it was an awesome video and it seemed like most of the people got through level 1 just fine but found 2 and 3 to be hard. Maybe they were already hard core but I was sweating after minute 1!!! This work out is fantastic but it kicks your butt! After the warm up the whole first minute is push ups and I have zero upper body strength. I will keep doing it to see if I can eventually last the first full minute of push ups. My husband did it with me and while he did great at the pushups, he was definitely hurting in the cardio and ab phase.

Very intense but I could feel it working. I definitely feel it working today but it's not that I'm unable to move, it's a comfortable pain (if that makes any sense!). I'm excited to do the video again tonight. The video claims you can lose 20 lbs in 30 days. I seriously doubt that unless maybe you went from completely sedentary to level 3 immediately which again would be hard to believe. I'm just looking to tone and of course drop some weight but by no means do I expect 20 lbs from this. I'm also not doing it 30 days straight. I'll incorporate my other work outs and switch between them all.

Here's to working towards feeling good about wearing a bikini this summer! My hope is that by my birthday (6/30) I'll have lost 30 pounds since I started on 1/3. I'm half way there so I've got 3 1/2 months to pull it off!!!

So I went shopping today...

In my own closet! I've continued to gain weight since I got married and have an array of sizes tucked away in there. While I can't fit in to all of them, i'm finding incredibly cute skirts and pants that I fit in to 3 summers ago and I'm loving it! I love wearing skirts and dresses in the spring/summer seasons.

I'm not obsessed with having children, in fact if you knew me in real life, you would be amazed that I've even mentioned them on my blog but I'm saving my larger clothes for when I do get pregnant. I'll still buy some cute maternity stuff but why spend all that money when I have clothes that will work for a while! I'm kind of annoyed that I've spent so much money on jeans these last couple of years and now those jeans not only don't fit, they're hanging off of me. WHY did I do that?! Oh well, can't go back. And, to be honest, it's not such a bad problem to have ;)

Overall, I can't say that I've dropped several sizes. When I started WW I was wearing a 14. I still wear some 14's although they are much looser but mostly wear 12's now. Pretty soon I'll be in 10's. I have an "athletic" type build so I've got broad shoulders and a bit of a larger bone structure. My body looks fantastic in an 8 and I hope that at 160 lbs, I will fit in to an 8. I can't imagine ever fitting in to a 6. My sister wears a 6 and she's like 3 inches shorter than I am! If that day ever comes, i will be like half of what I was when I started and that's weird to think about...

Weigh in Day

I will preface this by saying that i've felt pretty cruddy most of the week finally went to the doctor yesterday. Just as I suspected, I have strep throat. I didn't feel like eating but knew that I needed to get my points in each day so I stuck with it. I only got the exercise 3 times and that was earlier in the week but when i did it, i gave 100%.

I'm down 2.4 this week for a total of 15.2 pounds lost after 12 full weeks on the program. I know that some of that weight is catch up weight from last week. I started last week so I was probably retaining a little bit of water. I'm excited about the results and this loss will help give me more momentum. I can do this, I WILL do this, and when I finally reach my goal weight it will be sweet, sweet victory!!!

So far, I've earned 3 stars and i finally broke out of the 190's! I need to lose 8 more pounds to get out of the 180's! My goal is to be out of the 180's by April 30th! I have 4.8 pounds to go to reach my 10%. I would like to do that by week 16 so I've got 4 weeks to pull that off.

Current mini goal: lose 4.8 in 4 weeks so that I'm at my 10% at the end of week 16.

Larger goal: lose 8 by April 30th. Total weight loss on that day should be 22.2 pounds

Super large goal: weigh 160. I haven't put a time frame on this as I know the more you've lost, the harder it is to keep losing but that's my goal weight!

Why I'm Doing This

I think it's good to remind ourselves why it is that we do what we do. Below is my list.

1) I want better self confidence in how I look. I'm currently not thrilled with how I look. Not only am I overweight, I look overweight, and overall I don't look healthy.

2) I want to feel good with my own body

3) I don't want to be the heaviest in life in my 20's. If I don't do something about this now, it will be even harder when I get in to my 30's.

4) Someday I want to have babies. I don't want to be a high risk pregnancy just because I didn't take good care of myself when I could've.

5) I don't want to make it harder for me to lose the "baby" weight. If I don't have too much weight on me to begin with, I won't have as much to get rid of.

6) I want to be healthy

7) I want to run for long periods of time without heaving from being out of breath.

8) I want to look sexy!!

So today, when I have a pounding head ache and a sore throat, I will allow my body to rest instead of pushing it farther and farther. I want to go home and work out because I think it will help me show a loss this week and it very well could. But I'm not doing this for a short time to see a short result. I'm doing this for life, so if I don't feel good, I need to take it easy so that I can get better and so that I can give 100% during my workouts. I've worked out 3 times this week and stayed on point all week so I've done pretty darn good. I wish I could go home and go to sleep though. Still have another hour at work...

So far today...

I've stayed on point! Kind of a weird day because we are going to happy hour, i've alotted myself 6 points for alcohol which will be chardonnay. Also, I got up at 6 and worked out this morning with Leslie Sansome so that I would get some good activity in. I got in 30 minutes of brisk walking mixed with some strength training!

Here's what my food day looks like:

Breakfast:
WW yogurt with 1/4 cup of blueberries

Midmorning snack:
WW yogurt

Lunch:
Smart Ones 3 cheese ziti
1 cup of green beans
sugar free jello

afternoon snacks:
10 baby carrots
1 cup of fruit mixture that equals 2 points

Dinner:
salad I make at home with ff cheese, onion, lettuce, and honey mustard viniagarette (sp?)
pizza made with 1 flat out light, 1/4 cup of pizza sauce, 1/4 cup of ff moz. cheese, and onions

YUM!!! And then the wine :)

Wacky News

I've underlined the key phrase in this one.


AMARILLO, Texas (AP) -- Police used DNA to identify a man whose head was found three years ago in the back of a city garbage truck. The remainder of Kevin Thomas Walsh's body still hasn't been found but police hope that knowing more about his background may provide clues about his death. Walsh's family provided DNA samples for matching. Police continue to investigate Walsh's death as suspicious. In late March 2006, a city worker saw a head in the back of a garbage truck and called police. Walsh, 39, was homeless when he was arrested March 9, 2006, for shoplifting. He was released from jail seven days later.


My comments:So you think that his death "might" be suspicious? As if the man has cut his own head off and placed it in a random trash bin? OBVIOUSLY someone else has done this and this shouldn't be considered suspicious, it's homicide!!!

Lunch was good

My lunch was awesome! This if the first week I've seen Flat Outs at my local store so I definitely took the opportunity to buy them. They taste great, are only 1 point (Flat Outs Light), and you can fill it with so many great things. Today I filled mine with:

2 tbsp of honey dijon
2 oz of turkey deli meat
1 cup of lettuce mixed with carrots and radishes
1/4 cup of red onion
1/4 cup of fat free shredded cheese

I cut it in half and it was delicious! I also had a cup of reduced sodium chicken and noodle soup as well as 2 tbsp of roasted red pepper hummus with 13 fiber wheat thins. I am now enjoying 1 cup of green grapes. The total points including the grapes is 7 points. 7 points for good food that I enjoy! Great meal that will help sustain me through the day! I highly recommend it!

Change of plans

Okay, so life is about making changes when necessary but still making good decisions. I had my dinner planned out tonight but when I got home from work, the steaks still hadn't thawed out. I could've easily made something else, but Brandon and I decided to go out instead. We went to a little restaurant called Taco Diner and I stayed within my points. I had a very simple dinner which consisted of 4 corn tortillas (very small, medallion sized) approximately 3 oz of tilapia and 3 oz. of pork mixed with raw onions, cilantro, and lime juice from 1 lime wedge. They were simple, yet delicious. I also had about 8 tortilla chips. I felt very satisfied and got to eat out on the patio on this beautiful day!

So tomorrow night is the steak dinner. Here's how the rest of my day tomorrow looks:

Breakfast:
ww vanilla yogurt with 1/4 cup of blueberries
1 banana

mid morning snack:
Plain Oatmeal with 1/4 cup of blueberries

Lunch:
wrap made with a flat out, turkey breast, fat free cheese, honey mustard, lettuce, and onions
campbells soup at hand chicken and noodles
1 cup of grapes

mid afternoon snack:
10 baby carrots

Dinner:
4 oz new york strip steak
1 baked potato with ff sour cream and ff cheese
1 cup of steamed asparagus

after dinner:
8 oz. glass of fat free milk and 1 WW cookie

Sounds pretty good to me! Wednesday will be a more challenging day. We're having a happy hour/going away party for 2 ladies at work, after work so i'll save some points for a couple of glasses of wine.

Mondays Menu

So i've found that when I plan my food a day ahead, I make sure to have the foods with me that I need to stay on point. Here is my menu for tomorrow:

Breakfast:
WW vanilla yogurt with 1/4 cup of blueberries
1 cup of fat free milk

Mid morning snack:
plain oatmeal with 1/4 cup of blueberries and 1 packet of splenda

Lunch:
Lean Cuisine parmesan crusted fish
1 cup of grapes

Snacks:
10 baby carrots
sugar free jello

Dinner:
4 oz. of new york strip steak- grilled
baked potato w/ fat free sour cream and fat free cheese
1 cup of asparagus

Dessert:
either a WW ice cream cup, 1 WW cookie with 1/2 a cup of fat free milk, or pear halves with fat free cool whip. I'll decide that one based on how I feel.

I will also be sure to drink a minimum of 80 ounces of water and I plan to get 2 activity points after work tomorrow. Should be a pretty good day!

Rants and Raves!

-Today I was the 20th caller on Kiss FM and won tickets to The Britney Spears concert in Dallas! Wohoo!

-I've stayed on point today and am making a delicious low fat pizza for my hubby and I for dinner. YUM!

-I didn't exercise today, I decided to let my body rest.

-Last night at Pete's Piano Bar I got made fun of for drinking wine by a random stranger. She was very drunk and I was very not, staying on point but still having a blast. I'm aware wine isn't a typical bar drink but i'm glad it was an option for me. She was RUDE!

-I was putting away coats today in the closet since it's warm here now and my cat, Lexi, apparently jumped in there. An hour and a half later I couldn't find her anywhere, turns out she was trapped inside. Poor thing!

Weigh in Day- ick

SO after 2 full weeks, and a total of 11 weeks on the program, I got on the scale this morning. It said -.8. I was looking for a bigger number than that. I was hoping for a bigger number than that. I worked out hard core to get a bigger number than that. BUT, that was the number. And I'm okay with it. I took a moment to be angry (very brief) and then realized, I'm still losing weight. I've consistently lost weight since I started in January. I'm now down 12.8 pounds.

That number will grow! Since I didn't weigh in last week, I have no idea what the number would've been so I can't keep dwelling on that. All I know is that this last week I've followed the plan to a T, I've worked out harder than I have since I started, and I feel great! I may have gained some muscle when doing my jogging sprints. Who knows?! -.8 is a good reminder that what I'm doing is working and even though I want it to move along faster, it's going to do it's own thing. I've just got to be sure to be true to myself and to this program to see the results.

Go me!!

Motivation

I will not drink today! I know it's Friday and we have Margaritas at work almost every Friday, but today I will not drink them. This will be my 4th week in a row not to drink them. And my boss makes them so tasty! I love them. But I weigh in tomorrow and I will not compromise my progress for a margarita no matter how delicious and fun it is. I may have a diet coke though instead ;-)

Making it through the week

I've done incredibly well this week with tracking and exercising. I am mad at myself for not going to weigh last Saturday. I should've just gone and faced the music. Now I have no idea if I will show a gain or a loss this week. Either way, whatever it shows, I'm going to keep going. I will lose this weight, I will be healthier, and I will feel better. I've just got to do it!

Cold and dreary

It's cold and dreary today. My sister just asked me an interesting question about marriage and if I've ever thought "what did I get myself in to" I have no idea if she'll read this or not but yes, i've thought along those lines before but they were times when I was angry and didn't want to listen to the wisdom Brandon was providing. (i was being stubborn) I know that love doesn't cure all things. I know that love doesn't make whatever it was he said to me that I took the wrong way and hurt my feelings okay. But I do know, that because I know that I'm loved and cherished by him, it really helps me get over it.

I don't have to worry about waking up and wondering how Brandon will act today. He's a constant, loving, compassionate, understanding, and incredibly talented man that I love to love! So no, love isn't the answer but in my opinion, love is one of the driving forces of marriage. It's hard to want to do the "gross" stuff for someone when you don't love them. And lets be honest, men are gross some times. Please, just pee IN the toilet only. If your chicken breast fell on the floor, don't eat it. I will make you a new one!! And the list goes on and on. It would be hard to do his dirty, stinky laundry if I didn't love him. I'm not saying it's my favorite thing to do, but I do it because I love him and those are things he needs done.

The Meaning

To Revel In the Revelation:

For me, this means to find joy in a time of surprising news. This could mean to look for the joy in bad news, or to truly enjoy the good news. For today, it means to attempt to look for joy or something good and positive to come out of surprising news or surprising circumstances.

This blog is going to be a way for me to vent my frustrations, share my successes, and hopefully meet some new friends along the way! I had a blog where I was tracking my Weight Watchers successes and will now be doing that on here. With weight loss comes a renewed confidence and also brings about several emotions.

I started on 1/3/09 and as of 2/28/09, I am down 12 pounds. I weigh in on Saturday mornings and get excited about being able to post my new loss for the week! I didn't weigh in last Saturday for the first time since I started so I am nervous about this Saturday. I want to see a big number but I may see a small one.

Either way, my goal is to hit 160 lbs and maintain it. I have 31 pounds to go! I haven't given myself a time limit because I am not aware of what my body is capable of. Ideally though, I would like to be 160 lbs by the time 1/3/10 rolls around!